I cannot cry

Proud we feel, being the guardians of our race,

From who are we guarding, remains a mystery to our brains.

Protecting the boundaries, we sacrifice our lives,

Wrong were those people, who sketched these lines.

Seasons change and life evolves,

We dont budge an inch and expose our ground.

In the merciless heat of the enraged sun,

I miss the roof of my village home.

Tired and exhausted, when I used to return at dusk,

Her love and caring would always wipe away my pain.

She used to feed me with her hands, every ounce of a meal,

Her face would light up, when I asked for some more.

Sleeping in her lap, I felt relieved of problems,

Now in severe misery, I often shout her name,

My confidence sinks when I dont find her around.

In the spring, when I see kids playing in the park,

I visualize my angels whom I have seen growing in pictures.

I search for some puerility after an arduous day at work,

Only then I understand why couples germinate a child.

A thought passes my mind, when I look at my hands soaked in blood,

Will my angle recognize me, when I smile and lift her in my arms?

When the howling winds challenges might of the mightiest,

When the Earth is covered with the carpet of snow.

When the sunshine wears the mask of Judas,

And the darkness mocks behind the clouds.

The colourful days will be small and lonely nights will now be long.

I shiver in the ruthless nights and long for the touch of my love,

In the bizarre need of her body, my hand often searches the other side of bed.

Coiled up in the blanket, I sleep with the thought,

She would be reeling for my presence in her lonely nights.

Suddenly my eyes open, when I think, what if...

The departure of autumn leaves, evokes the memories of those gone,

My brothers and my friends who died in my arms.

The drinks we had and the laughs we shared,

were dwindled away in their untimely death.

Carrying their blood soaked bodies; I saved the life of few,

Their dependent condition, now questions my virtue.

Shiver runs through my bones, when I see their paralysed body,

Wrong are those people, who think we are not afraid of death.

Sitting alone in the corner of a room, when I am looking at the pouring raindrops,

And dawdling with the ice cubes in the whisky glass,

I realize while soldiers drink so much and laugh about life.

I should have busted in tears in arms of loves ones long back,

My soul would have lightened and the pain would have eased.

But we had pledged to never bow, no matter what comes our way,

Since, I am a soldier and I cannot cry.